I wish I knew more about sports. Baseball I'm golden -- I used to play softball. But football? I love watching it. I like dating those who play it. I just don't know shit past the fact that touchdowns are 6 points, footballs are called pigskins, and the 'J-E-T-S, JETS, JETS, JETS!' cheer is very easy to learn.
Okay, I know more than I give myself credit for, though I thought I knew a whole lot more until I read Sports Illustrated's 2009 NFL Preview. I starting reading it 3 weeks ago, and I'm still only on the AFC East. Look, the tiny print makes for difficult reading on an elliptical. Plus I had to make my dad thoroughly explain the difference between a 3-4 vs. a 4-3 defense and why the Dolphins' Wildcat formation can't possibly work forever before continuing said reading. Thanks, Dad, for the crash course in football 101 you would've thought I learned 5 years ago.
Then I read this week's Sports Illustrated and felt stupid all over again. In "Who's Hot, Who's Not," they describe one of the Titans' Ryan Mouton's mistakes against the Jets as "muffing a punt after calling a fair catch." I'm sorry -- muffed a punt? That just sounds dirty. Granted I laugh at the word balls and any "That's what she said" joke uttered, but how does one muff in a non-dirty context? Lady Gaga would not be pleased with a clean use of this word, nor am I. That's why I said, 'That's what she said!' out loud to no one after reading it. High five!
Then again, at least three guy friends told me they stopped their Sports Illustrated subscriptions a few years ago because the mag started sucking. So, hey, I've got that in my confused favor.
Photo: Courtesy Knoxnews.com via AP/Mark Humphrey
ooo emily. things we need to teach you.
ReplyDeletei know more than i type, don't you worry. =)
ReplyDeleteHigh-five on the "that's what she said" joke to no one. I would have laughed :)
ReplyDelete