friends with an ex: brilliant idea or demented and stupid? discuss.

i haven't decided if it's possible to be friends with an ex. i always say i want to be because these people were important to me at one point in my life, and i'd guess yours were important to you at once point as well. you wouldn't have been with them if you thought they were shmucks to begin with, unless you have some sort of self-destruction complex. ironically, i do -- but more on that at a later time, eh?

but is the fact that at one point in your life they were exactly what you wanted or needed any reason to keep them around? i've been completely willing to cut off friends who did horrible or truly stupid things. but exes? i can't do it. maybe it's because i do still have feelings. maybe it's because these guys were much closer to me than any friends could be, for obvious reasons. or maybe it's because i hate two things: change and not being in control. cutting off an ex would mean changing a once decent relationship to nothing (which it is at this point anyway, right?) and not being in control of the situation.

i have the belief that if you had feelings once, you always have them or you never had feelings at all. but i also don't like not talking to people anymore. i feel like everyone is in your life for a reason, not that they passed through and should never come by again. that doesn't mean the second the come around again you want to jump them. it simply means keeping friends as friends - whether they were friends with benefits, boyfriends, or boy friends.

or i just live in my own fantasy bubble where you can get along with whoever you want and dismiss all the people you can't stand.

my bubble is a very pretty place.