hi. my name is emily, and i like emo music.

i went to warped tour. the 15-year-old in me was thrilled, namely because the 15-year-old in me never went to warped tour. see, none of my friends like the same music i do. never have. okay, that's not entirely true... kayla likes counting crows. heather likes dashboard confessional. andy likes dave matthews band. jess likes fall out boy, but they're on "hiatus."

but my emo/pop punk/punk? harldy anyone. i love my emo music. it makes me feel better, namely when i pretend i can sing and could be in a band. yeah, pink helped, but hey monday's "candles" got me through a break up. motion city soundtrack writes metaphors i wish i could come up with. and fall out boy is damn fuckin' catchy. but i'm not 15 anymore, which means the only people who really admit to liking this music - if they're over the age of 23 - are in the bands. or work for the bands. or tour with the bands. basically, they're everyone i want to be. the fact that people figured out how to tour 24/7, 365 days a week and be in an industry where no one questions how tattooed or pierced they are is mind boggling to me.

i don't want to be the girl who shows up to shows and concerts by myself, but should i avoid going to shows because people don't want to go with me or don't like the same music? should i be afraid to show up to hear music i like because i don't have any musical kindred spirits? or should i just stop listening to it because, hey, i may work for a teen magazine but i'm not a teen anymore?

what i have to figure out is how to find people who do like the same things i do. i'm so used to having the same friends i've had for years, since elementary school or the first day of college. and i love my friends, but it's strange to be into music no one's ever heard of or not look quite like everyone else you know. i don't want to be normal. i don't want to not pierce every damn piece of my ear lobes. but it's so weird to not have people quite understand. this isn't a woe-is-me post. this is more like a "what the fuck" or "why has everyone else figured out who they are or where they want to be" post.

or maybe this is just, "why couldn't i have a good voice so i could be a rockstar" post. maybe i should just start practicing on that target guitar i have - that'd probably be a better start than whining.